I guess, sometimes, you have to take the highs with the lows, the good with the bad and the fresh with the expired (scratch that last one-- never take the expired). I've got so many things I feel like I am holding back on right now. So many ideas that I want to explore, so many corners I'd like to turn-- even if it's only to see what is there, and then come right back. Well what's holding you back, Mark? I have been burned before by simply following my heart and doing what I think is right. Too many times. I'm learning from my mistakes, at least on some level, and hope to write the next chapter of my life in pencil, rather than ink. I can always type it out once it looks the way I want it to.
I heard a very interesting point of view on the topic of "looking to the future" on the Stephen A. Smith show on ESPN Radio a couple weeks ago which I have been thinking a lot about. The person being interviewed was Steve Harvey, and they were talking about passion and goals. Here is my attempt at summarizing his thoughts on the subject.
A lot of people, when they are younger, are told: Find something you are passionate about and do it. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something or be somebody-- that you're not good enough, not tall enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough-- and so on and so forth. Why tell them that? That's not how the real world works. Why not rework the whole concept to something like: Find something you're gifted at and develop it. Too many people are living in a world of disappointment because they thought their passion and hard work alone would eventually lead to success. It might! IF you're talented in that field to begin with. IF you have the means to be successful once you get there. Getting there isn't the hardest part. Not that it's easy-- because it's not. But once you're there-- it gets harder. Why lead kids to believe they can do anything they put their mind to? We should be telling them to find something that they are good at, and to put their minds to that. To develop the gifts they have. To be who they are. To try to be the very best they can be at what they're good at. Not to say that dreaming big or trying new things is wrong, because it's not. This isn't about limiting what you do for enjoyment-- as a hobby or in your free-time. By all means, try to be happy and have fun. Try everything. Don't limit yourself. But when it comes to your future, be smart about it.
Okay, I know that was long winded-- and, again, that was just my understanding of what he was saying. Talk about a great "modern issues" style topic. Before I give my thoughts and response, I am really interested in hearing what you guys think. I have been thinking about this a lot and would really be interested to see some opinions.
On the North side,
Mark
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It always my understanding that you were supposed to find something you like so much that you'd do it for free, and then become so good at it that someone is willing to pay you for it. I don't think it would be particularly satisfying if you were REALLY good at cooking or something, but you really wanted to be a writer.
As for keeping the things you enjoy for your free time...to get by in this world your free time is very limited because you're busting your ass all the time working - and in this scenario its at a job you may or may not hate. It says it's not about limiting what you do, but if you limit it to your free time...its still limiting no matter how you look at it.
I think the actual key is to accept that you may not be "successful" doing what you love, but when it comes down to it...you're still doing what you love, and to me, that's satisfaction enough.
I agree that it's not as easy as just having a passion for something. For example, music is my favorite thing in the world. It might be my passion even. But I wasn't blessed with musical talents. I don't have the coordination to play an instrument and I don't have a good enough voice to be a singer. So I would find no success in music just because it is what I'm passionate about.
I think also, though, that you can find the next best thing. Like I could try to work in the music industry. I'm hoping to become a music journalist. It's not being in a band, but it's the next best thing.
It's also possible to find what you're good at and make it your passion. All throughout school, I was told I was a good writer. So I got into things to exercise and develop my writing talents, like journalism. Because it was something I was good at, it became another passion.
In any case, I'd encourage kids to try everything because they can be good at it. Maybe, maybe not. But it never hurts to try new things.
If I followed my passions instead of my alleged "talent," I'd be one sad, broke woman. Because I can't get paid to sit around in my pajamas daydreaming of how John Travolta used to be lean and a lot less gay.
Not going to lie, I've been feeling similarly lately. Like there's more I could be doing, things i've always wanted to do, & things that could have been done differently.
Although you say you've been hurt by following your heart there's going to be a time where things will be different. Lil side story but my dad played the same lotto numbers all the time. The one day he decided to play different numbers the original set won. Try not to give up on what you believe in.
What Stephen Smith said does make sense. But I never thought it hurt me to dream of what I wanted to. Dreaming big still doesn't hurt.
In 'the real world', which is all the time no matter what anyone says, life is too short to worry about money and good looks.
In reference to the pencil/ink thing though. You can't re-write your past but there can always be something better in the next chapter.
You asked for opinions so I hope mine at least helped a little.
Mark, I know this really good band that's from Upstate NY. They're looking to do some shows or maybe book a small summer tour!!!
You should really email them... theyre really good!
Consider this!!!!
their email... shempashland@yahoo.com
-Anthony
We talked about this kinda thing in my Sociology class last quarter. How many middle class white Americans are the ones commiting suicide because they've tried to "do what they love" instead of "what theyre good at," and have found it to be an unfruitful future. I agree that this is something we need to change about what we teach to our kids.
Just because something is your passion doesn't mean that you necessarily can (or should) make it be what you do for the rest of your life. Writing and music are my two passions. So, when I first started off in college, it seemed logical that I double major in journalism and music (...yeah, I don't see the logic anymore). Unfortunately, I hate politics and music theory, so that didn't work out so well. Just because I didn't pursue either as a career (and it's probably best that I didn't...journalism and the music world are probably two of the most competitive fields to make it in...Mark, I'm sure you know that from the music stand point) doesn't mean that I'm not passionate about them. They simply wouldn't pay the bills for me, as sad as that sounds. And just because you're passionate about something doesn't mean that you're good at it either. I'm a lousy musician...unless you hand me a clarinet...so again, not sure where I was going with the double major idea.
Anyways, in my mind, what it comes down to is that sometimes you have to become passionate about what you're doing in life, even if it isn't your first choice. We can't make careers out of everything we're passionate about. If that were the case, I would be a Singer/Actress/Journalist/Pediatrician/ Marine Biologist/Neonatal Nurse...as well as being insane.
It's hard not to let the past hold you back from the future. I've been thinking about that too much in the past few months. Being this age can be really confusing...a mid-mid-life crisis of sorts. Many a coffee hour chats I've had recently have included the phrases:
"This is what I want to do, but..."
"This is what I'm stuck doing until..."
"I really love, but I'm not good at..."
"If only I could just..."
I've come to my own personal little conclusion that what I'm doing now is only a means to an end. The “end” being that someday I'll find something that I'm truly passionate about & talented enough to pursue. Right now I’m doing what I have to do to get to where I someday hope to be, even if I don’t know where that is yet. I can’t honestly say that makes me happy, but if working the job I do now allows me little moments of happiness in between, then I’m doing better than someone, somewhere, who’s not as lucky as I’ve been.
That said, eventually I’m going to have to take a chance. I may stumble, or I may fall, but at least then I’ll know that it’s time to move on.
Advice: take a risk, explore, & turn corners. I will if you will.
:]
&ps: write in ink. You can't erase mistakes & mishaps. You can turn the page and start over again, keeping the past as a reminder of what the future won't hold.
I see where Mr. Harvey is getting at. But normally the things people good at are normally the things people are passionate about.
Sometimes I have the passion but not the skill, or vice versa. Depends on my day
I feel as though this is what I'm going through at the same moment. To a different degree obviously. Finding my passion, and conquering it. You are a very intelligent person Mark, and I'm sure you'll get things figured out eventually. I want to wish you the best of luck on whatever you decide to do. I'm sure nothing but good things are in store for you. :)
I think most of us are told when we're young to simply follow our dreams and do what we want. Many learn that their dream may simply not be the right path for them in the end, and for some failing to get that dream atleast made the journey worth it. Maybe that initial dream we wanted to accomplish just needed more and more of a push instead of deeming it unrealistic. It's really hard to say, it's a big issue to wrap your head around. Everyone's story is different and I guess it all comes down to following your heart.
Mark, you just dont even know. dont let anyone or anything hold you back from doing what you love to do because in the end, its "the only thing that matters." you were given a God given talent and you should do what you love to do and what other people love you for doing becayse like i always say, youll get whats coming to you. you deserve so much more and you will eventually get it. no doubt in my mind. your music is an inspiration to me and im sure many many more and it would be a shame if you quit doing what you were born to do.
your biggest fan,
Brandon
That's what I like to think about: aiming at something you want to do, then firing at it, taking all the good times and bad times on the way.
But I often think that we're MEANT to do what we do, and take what we're given. If we hadn't done the things in our lives, we wouldn't be here blogging, or typing up something.
I feel that the only choice we make in life is where we want to go. Fate decides whether we have a smooth trip there, or a roller coaster ride.
Either way, we all head for something that gets our full potential.
minds - Rob (I Can Make You Laugh, on your MySpace friends list... somewhere :S)
In life no matter what you do its gonna come with the highs and the lows, even if you do what you love or do what you think is right to do.
If you do what you think is right or what you think you should do and not do what you love later in life your gonna regret the decision. Your gonna look back and think what could have been.
I guess no matter what we choose to do in life there will always be that 'what if?'.
Follow your heart and do what you want to do because you may not get a second chance , the people who love you will always stick by you and would want you to do what you want to do.
I think that's a very valid point. And I think we're setting up kids to fail by having them believe this world is here to help you, to nurture you, to guide you to your dreams. Because it's not. This world is broken and the majority of people in it are looking out for themselves, not you. I believe we've all been given talents, something we're good at, something we're passionate about. It's crucial to our own well being to seek those passions out and live by them, that's why they're set in our hearts in the first place. Find your passion and develop it. More times than not, if you're following your passion, success is irrelevant.
We've all been burned for following our heart. Why should that stop us?
i think "on the northside" means you now love the cubs
steve harvey is a genius. too bad his line of thinking will never be accepted.
kids these day (by kids i mean middle school - mid level college) have the attention span on MAYBE 30 seconds. i've seen hundreds of kids who were "passionate" about the music scene here, yet nowadays there's hardly a familiar face to be seen. it's because these same kids have no clue what "passion" really is. in this world of ever changing "cool" ideas/bands/styles, it has sucked the creativity out of a lot of people. it's easier to follow the crowd than to be your own person and like what you like and do what you do FOR YOURSELF.
yes, life has always been like this to an extent (i remember being 14 and starting high school) but there are SO many things i see in younger kids today that were not happening in 1993 (yes i am old haha). i also think kids find it easier to rely on hopes and dreams and fail and move onto something new without feeling any real "loss", as opposed to putting their all into something they are able to be successful at and have it fail. because no one wants to feel that genuine feeling of failure. so they don't push themselves to a point where it's possible. it's much easier to brush off something that wasn't truely meant to be in the first place and make excuses and ask for sympathy from others.
i know you are a gifted person mark. i know you have what it takes to be successful in what you do. we all define for ourselves what it means to be "successful". over the past 5-6 years that i've known you...i would honestly say you have been a huge success. maybe spitalfield didn't sell as many albums as you had hoped or gotten to the level you wanted them to be at. but in the vicious world that is the music industry, through all the changes and styles and scenesterism, you have remained the same person: a well spoken, caring individual who i call friend. you never let the scene define who you were or how you acted as a person, while i've seen band after band do complete 180's personality-wise over the years. you've been true to yourself and from what i can tell had a great time while doing it.
never change who you are. continue doing what you are gifted at until you decide it's no longer enjoyable. i'm sure you have other gifts/talents to offer the world. you just don't have to use them all at once :)
<3 zach
I wish someone would have told me to follow my dreams or that I could be whatever I want to be. I love sports and have had much success playing them in the past (I played 3 sports in high school and was the captain on one of the teams), but I've never pursued them as a serious career possibility and wonder about it all the time.
Sure, passion and hardwork may not be enough. Even if you throw talent into the mix then that still might not be enough, but I would rather fail trying than be left behind wondering for the rest of my life, "What if..."
Instead of taking my own advice, right now I'm studying in a discipline that I'm pretty good at and will hopefully keep me financially sound, but my desire for it is nothing short of lackluster.
At this point in my life, if I could do it again I would strive towards living my dreams. Yet part of me is hoping that all the work I have done will pay off. Only time will tell I suppose. I still play sports often and enjoy every minute of it. Maybe someday I'll believe in myself enough that I will actively pursue this dream. I need a kick in the ass. I wish I knew where to start. Until then it's back to studying for me.
-mpm
this one is by Jim ( we talk online on occasssion)
well i agree, what you want isnt always what your good at. Mainly on the music side. There is plenty of people in this world who have been blessed with the skill of playing guitat, but never put it too use mainly becuase a band failed. There is way more out there then too what meets the eye. Kids in the world or so sheltered to what can be. sometimes you gotta look deeper and it takes time. Everyone has dreams, but sometimes they are just better served as is.
and with what you said in the beggining, we all get burned everyonce in a while i mean whats life without some sort of pain, but it builds us to be who we are. What you go through makes you who you are as a person, and they also influence your choices in the situations that lie ahead. i know you said you wanna start to write in ink but in my opinion pencil is the way to go becuase there are some things in life we cant change but there are we can....so lets leave them open to do so.
Well... I think in most circumstances if you do work hard enough at something you can achieve it. Obviously there are exceptions to that. You cannot be a model simply because you try at it... but that is not the most fair industry to be honest :p And sometimes you can be brilliant at something and be unable to make a go of it. But it is still a good thing to tell young kids that they should do what they like because you can be highly talented at something and hate it. If you do something you love you will enjoy it even if you are not the best at it because being the best isn't always the most important thing.
To be honest though, when I was younger... I was not always told to do whatever I loved. I was basically discouraged from the things that truly interested me. Was told to do something that I "actually had a chance at succeeding in." So... Ah I have no clue what I'm trying to say :p
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